We all have been through such a phase in our lives where we are no longer with the person who was once largely responsible for our happiness. Its true some bonds dont last forever, but what lasts are the memories. The person may go, but in many cases it opens door for new better oppurtunities and a lot of traumatic issues.
Why breakups happen? Well the general notion is the person no longer loves us( which is true in many cases) but in modern world there are a lot more of them.
1. Growing apart- We all grow and continue to grow at different rates. More often than not, our partners fail to keep up with our pace, or they outgrow us. Thus we are no longer in the same page and feel that connection, and we decide to move on with our lives.
2. Toxicity- Every relationship experiences some form of toxicity be it overdependence or gaslighting. If both partners realise their toxicity and work on it, it might and in most cases will save the relation. But the problem is most of the time we are not ready to accept our mistakes and work on it. Thus the toxicity kills the relationship.
3. Past issues- Most people go back to dating without properly healing their past traumas. Those wounds still remain fresh and more often than not flare up, affecting the current relationship. Its a thought prevalent specially amongst young people is the best way to moveon is date someone else. But doing this they enter a vicious cycle of dating breakup again dating without actually healing but also adding new issues on themselves.
4. Not accepting self responsibility- People most often than not depend on their partner for their happiness, emotional support and are the first one to blame the other half for their sadness. Well our partners are one of the reason for our happiness but arent the only one. If we are not happy with the other aspects of life( career, family etc) we wont be happy internally which will always make us feel unsatisfied in a relation leading to breakup.
5. Family problems- Many of our families dont accept our partners for many reasons. Also people like to avoid people coming from toxic families and thus they break the bond.
6. Cheating, extra relationship affairs are again a big reason for breakups
Emotional affects of breakups-
1. Depression, addiction, anxiety, ptsd
2. Trust issues- After a major heartbreak more often than not people are afraid to love again because of the pain. They develop loads of insecurities which prevent them from trusting other person. The fear overrides the joy thus affecting our quality of life.
3. Commitment issues- Broken people most often are uncomfortable in the presence of another person in their lives. They still dont get over the feelings from the previous relation and thus dont indulge in companionship and want to be left alone.
How to heal and move on properly-
After a breakup its very imperative to take a break from day to day life. It very important to give ourselves time. Practising a new hobby, travelling to a new place, calling friends( but not ex) and crying out loud, sharing stuffs helps a lot. After a few days once we are healed a but its very important to look back at the relation and analyse. Analyse what was our mistake and what was not. We can change someone else’s flaw but we can surely workout on our flaws. Its very important to know ourselves deeply that what we really want. Its also important to be happy with ourselves. If we are happy inside, external shortcomings dont hurt a lot. Its pretty much like punching a fit person and punching a person who has a fracture. In the first case it will hurt a little but in the second case it will pain tremendously because of existing internal damage. The same concept applies to relationships. If we are happy with ourselves, we wouldnt fear losing a person cause it will hardly hurt a little. How to be happy with oneself is a different procedure for different people. I personally accepted my flaws and fears and faced them, I deepened by bond with friends and family and found a new hobby. Well it is different for different people. Its just we have to know ourselves what truly makes us happy inside and do it.
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